Scales! They're No Fun!

I'm taking a trip down memory lane with this one, so just indulge me for a sec.

So, I heart my Moms, but recently I discovered that she had done the most unimaginable thing. She had thrown out all of my old children's LPs, most of which were in great condition. In the trash. Even though I own two record players. With not a second thought. And right after I had a frickin' kid!!! Needless to say she will never live this one down. Sorry Moms. Why this popped back into my head (or should I say ear) today, I'm not sure. But hopefully I'm not the only one who remembers the classic (and now out of print....grrrrrrr) Rusty in Orchestraville. True I can download it, or buy a CD version for like 45 bucks (Jesus, Moms!) but it just wouldn't sound the same. Still, I'll probably break down and do it cause it's a fun and nostalgic way to teach kiddos the instruments of an orchestra. And (she says in her most lofty tone) EVERY child should know the instruments in an orchestra. Also, the instruments talk using this new-fangled Sonovox technology, which either makes it awesome or incredibly creepy for the average (or even above average!) child. Thanks weird inventions of the 1940's, Peter Frampton just wouldn't be the same without you.

Beep Beep, Beep Beep, Beep Beep

This is awesome. The breakdancing, the tacky clothes, the jerry curls. The Jerry Curls!!! My cousin put the song No Parking on the Dance Floor on a mix tape for me when I was like six. I'm pretty sure I haven't heard it since, so this little worm in my ear is definitely way out of left field. And just in case you were wondering (and I know that you were,) yes, Midnight Star is back and planning a tour, so pull out those old purple pleated parachute pants, don your bluest of eye shadows and be on the lookout! To quote band member Belinda Lipscomb (who apparently has been making a living singing at Sandals resorts):

... MIDNIGHT STAR has been blessed with gifts and talents that could only come from GOD up above. There is no doubt about it… MIDNIGHT STAR is back and ready to do it now and beyond.
 

I'm not sure what "and beyond" really means here. Is it like "to infinity and beyond?" Sorry, too much Buzz Lightyear in my household. Maybe it's just a generic "and beyond" as in we don't know how much longer any of use will be alive because we started this funky group 36 years ago, but we're here until we're not anymore. Well, whatever it means, they're back. And doing it. It's time to start practicing your robot and arm waves. Bust it.

Uhm, Something, Something In Hebrew?

OK, so I know I've already posted about this one (to many people's dismay, I might add) but I am finding myself temporarily fascinated by this cover of Somebody That I Used to Know. Maybe this rendition will make the haters hate less. I mean, it's not my favorite song of all time, but it isn't terrible. Anyway, whether it does or not is not the point. The point is there are five people playing one...what is that?...some kind of mandolin? How do they know where to put their hands? It's like figuring out a five-some! It's guitar porn! I'm also impressed with the lack of spitting on each other that should be happening when singing in Hebrew while standing shoulder to shoulder. All those glottal stops and what not. Say it, don't spray it, brother!

Actually this instrument is a bouzouki. Duh. It's a Greek instrument from the lute family. Double duh. I can't believe you guys didn't already know that. Amateurs. And seeing as how I'm not a regular reader of Guitar World (I know, shocker) I'm just now learning that this is actually a cover of a cover of five other people playing one guitar and singing this song. Why? What is this new fascination with standing very close together and playing the same instrument? Is this a marketable talent these days? Taught in music schools across the country? Can you add it to your resume?

"Hello, my name is ______. I have the uncanny ability to knock on a bouzouki, imitating a drum beat, with one hand. You should hire me. Thank you for your time."

Yeah, I'd totally hire that guy.

Before The Cream Sets Out Too Long

It's Saturday. I'm at work. It's dark and stormy out. Red House Painters is playing. Jeesums, this is depressing. Fortunately I have just remembered this morning's earworm and it was definitely not any musical incarnation of Mark Kozelek (did you guys know he was in Almost Famous and Shopgirl? Random factoid of the day delivered. De nada.) In fact you could pretty much call Devo the antithesis of any of his bands, wouldn't you agree? So yeah, today's little ray of sunshine is, in fact, Whip It. I can actually trace this one back to the fact that I watched the movie Whip It! last night (hey, there's our pal Har Mar!) and even though this song was not featured on the film's soundtrack, you can see the obvious connection here.

So, according to an unnamed source (because it sounds more mysterious that way,) the meaning behind the lyrics actually has nothing to do with "whipping it," in the wink-wink-nudge-nudge sense of the word. In fact it was written as an imitation of Thomas Pynchon's parodies of limericks in the book Gravity's Rainbow. Wha? I don't know if any of you folks have tried to read Pynchon before (I confess to only have tried and not succeeded) but that changes everything about this song for me! They aren't making fun of sadomasochism, they're just making fun of overly egotistical "you can do it" poetry! DUH! I knew it had to be about something more lofty than beating it.

The video, however, totally went with the public perception of the song and was apparently inspired by a true story found in a 1962 girlie mag called Dude. Of course! Hence we have the beer-drinking, coral-loving, sex-obsessed cowboys with whips tearing off women's clothing in a bull pen. While wearing upside down flowerpots on their heads. Obvs this predates the FCC setting any rules for MTV. Cause those flowerpots are down right offensive.

Crazy 'Bout Elvis

Who doesn't love Tom Petty? And if there are people out there who don't love Tom Petty, what on earth is wrong with them? Idiots. That's what. So many great songs, but it's Free Fallin (co-written with fellow Wilbury, Jeff Lynne) that's stuck in my head today. Once when I was in high school (or maybe it was junior high?) I saw the Heartbreakers play at the pyramid in Memphis with all my girlfriends. We heard he was staying at the Peabody (you know, the one with the ducks?) so we went and camped out in the lobby hoping to catch a glimpse. All of the sudden he emerged! He walked right past our table and (I SWEAR) he said "Evenin', ladies" as he strutted on by (wearing his signature shades, of course.) Naturally this caused a lot of giddy, girlie, squealy things to happen, and then he was gone. That was it. My brush with greatness. Sigh... And to this day that was the best damn rock show I've ever seen. Hands down, no argument about it. Sorry Bruce, but it's true.

I have to say though, this isn't one of the videos that I really remember from Petty's catalog of cool videos. He appears to be floating a lot in this one. Not sure if that was an artistic choice or not, but I guess it works. Makes me want to hang out at the mall. Remember when that was where all us cool kids hung out? Do kids still do that? Who am I kidding, I've always hated the mall. I was just trying to fit in.

Anyway, factoid of the day: Tom's middle name is Earl. That's all.

Olympic Tribute!

 Holy god, this song is bad. Like, super bad. But not in a funny way like the movie, Superbad. Like, legitimately bad, bad. But apparently the International Olympic Committee deemed it worthy of being the official theme song of these 2012 summer games. Jeesums, are they deaf? I mean, they are a bunch of old white dudes, right? Did they actually listen to this song in its entirety? Was there any debate at least over holding out for something (anything) better? Coldplay couldn't step in here? Couldn't they have just stuck with Sir Paul and called it a night?

I have no idea who Muse is, other than the singer being Kate Hudson's baby-daddy (she likes the musician types, doesn't she?) but honestly the song Survival makes me want to punch them in the face(s). It's terrible. Just terrible. And Kate helped pen it! Good lord, girl, what have you done? Then again, there have been other questionable choices in the past. Gloria Estefan, Bryan Adams, Bjork? Look, I'm a Bjork lover, but what the hell is going on here? A reasonable Q&A from Time explains it thusly:

1. Is this song about eternal friendship, the indomitable human spirit, or the competitive drive within us all? None. It’s an ocean singing about human evolution.
2. So Björk went and flipped the script on the whole Olympic theme song with “Oceania”? I mean, when she sang “Every pearl is a lynx is a girl” we think you could hear the world collectively sigh, “Where’s Celine Dion?”
3. Björk’s dress is a: Humongous piece of fabric that stretches across the floor of an entire stadium then has a map of the world projected on it, obviously.
4. If it weren’t for the fireworks at the end of the song: I’m legitimately unsure if people would have cheered.
5. But is this the best Olympic theme song? Yes.
6. Choice YouTube Comment: “I like it and I don’t like it. It kinda is the kinda song that plays in a schizophrenics head.” —ForeverPassionate2
7. Relevant Olympic Moment tied to this song: Iceland won exactly zero medals in 2004 Summer Olympics.

Anyway, enjoy the horribleness of this year's selection at least once. The lyrics are truly inspirational. I hope your ears stop bleeding soon.

 

  

Wanna See Me Disco?

So, Hubby and I have been talking (again) about changing some things up and getting in better shape and conveniently I have just found my new workout with this morning's earworm selection. Le Tigre's Deceptacon was played (and danced to) religiously at pretty much every college house party I attended  in 1999, but with moves like the ones in this video I can totally get my cardio in for the day in under four minutes! Ironically this is stuck in my head because it was in the soundtrack of a movie that was supposed to be set in the 80's and also features such hits as Elvira and Don't Cry Out Loud (The Oak Ridge Boys and Melissa Manchester in case you were too lazy to Google it yourselves.) Man I thought Elvira was a hilarious song when I was little. Hi ho, Silver.

Anyway, hearing Le Tigre made me want to go dig out this album and jump around like an idiot. Which I did. Then it made me realize how long ago 1999 actually was. Which explained why I was so winded. Interesting factoid of the day: this song is listed in the book 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die. I will verify this later by activating my stellar library skills (i.e. walking over to the shelf and looking in the book) but for now we'll just assume that the interwebs never lie. So great, I can tick that one off the list then. One step closer to death! Hmmm. In that case maybe I'll skip putting on my work out clothes and just have another glass of wine. Nah, too early for that. A Bloody Mary would be more apropos.

So here's the routine. Costumes aren't required, but I'm sure the band wouldn't mind if you had a drink in your hand while you followed along. Making it the perfect workout for moi!

Yes, I know the video quality is crappy, but that has nothing to do with me so shut up and learn your moves!

Ain't Nothin Gonna Break My Stride

This song is just making me happy. Got a little reggae bounce going on in my work chair. And if I was feeling the need to actually accomplish anything today, Break My Stride would be a great motivating anthem. As it turns out, I'm just feeling tired because I'm not used to getting up to greet the day earlier than 8:00 a.m. Next time Hubby goes out of town I'm going to train the dogs to let themselves out and poor a cup of milk for Bug (this just gave me so many great mental images!) I will also purchase some sort of helmet to wear when Bug decides he must sleep in my bed, to protect my genius brain from his flailing feet. What are his feet constantly doing by my head when he's sleeping? How did he get way over there? Why is there a pacifier in my ear? When can I take a nap?

Anywho, Matthew Wilder's one and only hit apparently was not the only thing he did in his career. As if you care. But I'm going to tell you anyway. He produced No Doubt's first album that went like quadruple platinum and was nominated for an Oscar for work on the Mulan soundtrack. I know. Riveting. Maybe it's best to go back to not knowing who the hell he is and just enjoy the song...and... done.

And for those of you who never watch the videos here (Hubby,) I promise you'll enjoy this one. The skimpily-leotarded-ladies have come up with some truly breathtaking choreography (it's especially becoming on the men.) And the last ass shot is pure cinematography magic. Also featured is Matthew Wilder's mustache. And fro. And black pleather pants. And sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off with a long-sleeved shirt underneath. And that shirt is pink. So clearly, worth 3.5 minutes of your time.