I Wrapped It Up And Sent It

Feliz Navidad and stuff! I can say with absolute certainty that I am not at all ready for Christmas. Hubby has the flu, Bug's daycare is closed (which means he's at work with me, which means I'm not getting any work done,) and we have an eight hour (at least) car trip ahead of us tomorrow (which means I'll be driving all day while Hubby vomits out the window and Bug kicks the back of my seat and screams.) Also, I'm not packed and we're hosting a last minute cocktail party tonight. Clearly I have lost my mind.

But in the spirit of the season, I have a little holiday-themed earworm to pass along today. It's been stuck in my brain for about a week now, but I just haven't had the time to post it. You know, with all of my many social engagements to keep up with. And by social engagements I mean season one of Homeland. But I digress, today the stuck music is brought to you by Wham! (and George Michael's awesome hair...and his gay earrings.) As previously stated, Last Christmas has been playing on a loop for about eight days now (which might be significant if G.M is partially Jewish), despite the fact that I only know the words to the chorus. And actually I think I keep getting them wrong too. But still it's one of the less annoying Christmas pop songs, so I guess things could be worse. What I think I love most about this video (and this is a close runner up to the plethora of over sized coats from the 80's) is the fact that he's singing about some chick when we all know he'd rather be sticking it to the other dude in Wham. Also, the fact they they are all just pretending to take sips from their wine glasses is kind of hilarious. Were they not 21 yet when they shot this video? Was the director scared of things getting out of control with all the rampant Chardonnay sippage? I feel an investigation coming on...

So Merry Christmas and pass the egg nog! And thank you baby Jesus for another happy (most of the time) year with Hubby, Bug and of course, Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou. Peace out.

Climb Aboard, Get Ready To Explore

"We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship." If you don't have young children I bet you can't name that tune! Hubby and I, however, can name it in two notes or less. Beat that, bitches! We are so familiar with this little ditty that we actually both woke up singing it this morning. Bug just told us to be quiet. He can be so unappreciative of our morning duets.

So the earworm du jour is the theme song from Disney Jr.'s Little Einsteins, currently young master Bug's favorite show. For those of you who don't know (and are probably 112% uninterested) the concept of this show is actually right up my alley. It teaches famous composers and artists, music theory and terms, mixed in with a bit of geographic exploration of places with major architectural or historical significance. In reality it is totally bizarro. The rocket ship in which these four parent-less tots zoom around time and space (totally unchaperoned!) is fueled by Rocket Soup made of cheese, peas, and musical jumping beans. And yet somehow said soup is bright tomato red. This makes no sense. Neither cheese, peas, or musical jumping beans (I have seen them, so I know) are red. And still, red soup. This doesn't seem to bother Bug, but I just can't get past it. Anyway, all 13 of my readers should consider this their lucky day, because I managed to track down a video of the song sung in six (yes, SIX!) different languages BACK TO BACK!!! You get to listen to it six times in a row, people! English, Spanish, Italian, Japanese (my personal fave) and French. If you make it to the French without developing some sort of nervous eye twitch, you score 70 bonus points. Good luck in your mission. Start the count down...

Don't Call My Name

Blogging is hard work, y'all. Like, for reals. First off, where do I find the time? I am just soooooo busy! I mean, I have to pretend to work for 8 whole hours a day, then I have like 5 hours of TV to watch when I get home. Not to mention the fact that Hubby and Bug can be so needy with all the requests for food and water and poop-free diapers (those are mostly just for Bug.) Phew, what's a girl to do?! OK, so the reality of the situation is that I am lazy and uninspired and that's why the blog has been on hiatus. Now that we have that cleared up, let's move on.

Lady Gaga. I am fascinated, intimidated, grossed out by, and a little in awe of this woman. I do not understand the meat dress. I totally love the bubble dress. I like that she is an actual musician. I do not like that she has that fab body because of eating disorders. But all of that aside, what I'm here to discuss today is the song Alejandro. I just don't get what's going on here. Who the f**k is Alejandro? And if he's important enough to have an entire song about how irresistible he is, why does she also mention some other dudes (Roberto and Fernando?) Is she having a 4-way? Or trying not to have a 4-way? I'm confused. And the chorus. What's up with that? She just says his name over and over and calls it a day. Was she suffering from writers block while penning this little snippet of Americana? And the video does absolutely nothing to clear any of this up. I mean, we get it, you like to prance around in funky costumes (or your underwear) and fancy lighting while topless men dance-fight (or simulate raping you) for your enjoyment (don't we all?) But what the hell does that have to do with the damn song, woman?!? Eating a rosary? Now that makes sense.

Seriously, help. Somebody please figure this one out for me. In the meantime I'm going to go develop an eating disorder of my own. Why should she get to have all the fun?